“It’s a ‘zine! It’s a movie! It’s a sit-com! Actually, it’s an intimate glimpse into Sandra Butler’s personal journal as an 83-year-old queer Jewish feminist activist leaving her Bay Area home to
live close to her daughters in the Red State of Arizona.”
“…The ensemble of characters at Desert Manor are hilarious, jaw-clenching, at times worthy of a Jack Russell Terrier head tilt. ‘Caught between not wanting to be a burden and wanting to be taken care of,’ Butler’s writing is tender, funny and unequivocally relatable.”
—Karen Lee Erlichman, D.Min, LCSW is a psychotherapist, spiritual director, writer and mentor.
Join Sandra Butler as she leaves her home and community of fifty years to move into a residential facility in an unfamiliar city. With meals, activities, and proximity to her children, what could possibly go wrong? Well, as it turns out—just about everything.
Butler vividly portrays the intricate challenges of this late-life transition, capturing the struggle to adapt to an institutional setting with whatever good cheer she could muster. Each day was a new adventure, pretending all is well for her children, trying to make conversation through masks and faulty hearing aids, and the anticipation of a dinner that might, just might, be flavorful.
Butler’s funny, honest account brings a welcome and necessary perspective to the inevitable moment when we end one chapter and begin whatever comes next.
Now available:
Praise for Leaving Home at 83:
“Butler’s irreverent account of pulling up roots and attempting to replant them in unfamiliar soil illuminates some of the inevitable truths of our old and getting older lives.
She invites the reader to accompany her as she enters her new life with the unforgettable characters of Desert Manor. What was lost and what is eventually found is at the heart of her remarkable story. Reading her words is like sitting in a café with a witty and wise friend and savoring the openhearted truth-telling that comes from years of intimacy.”
— Naomi Newman, actor, director, playwright,
co-founder of A Traveling Jewish Theater
“Sandra Butler is an extraordinary storyteller. Accompanying her as she leaves home to live near her
— Terry Greenblatt, women’s peace and justice activist; Senior Advisor,
daughters, I was swept into the unexpected complexity of this late-life transition, one she navigates with humor and hard-won self-awareness.”
Plowshares
“Sandra Butler addresses the unspoken realities of women’s lives with curiosity, intelligence, and an insistence on honoring these still concealed truths. Now, she has written Leaving Home at 83, chronicling a precipitous change in her life. With her keen intellect, her honesty and humor, she chronicles the losses, challenges, and freedoms of leaving home. Butler is a trustworthy guide, and I am grateful for her well-earned wisdom.”
— Jan Holmgren, President Emerita, Mills College